I spent a lot of money when I was in my previous relationship. I tend to spoil the person I am with and shower him with presents; watches, clothes, camera, surround sound system, Xbox, books, trips, household items, help with rent, car parts, other random shit… you name it and I have probably gotten it for him. I know I am an idiot for spending frivolously, not caring about what happens next, but at the time, I truly believed I was investing in MY future. Why wouldn’t I want to keep the person I want to spend my life with happy and comfortable? And though I do think at the end of it all, it was stupid on my part, I am not too fussed about it, because he still enjoys all those things today. I mean at least they are still in good use right?
What I AM fussed about, however, are things I bought for myself that I don’t think I can use again.
Today, I cleaned out my closet. I put away my laundry and took out things I can either throw away or give away (giving away to a charity is always a better option, I strongly advocate it, unless its in unwearable condition, then please don’t humiliate yourself by giving it to someone else). And I went through a drawer of things that I spent too much money on to throw away and I don’t feel right giving it away (cuz that’s just gross) – lingerie.
I bought enough of them in the five years I shared with my ex. I don’t think my body looks as good without clothes, because shapes and curves are missing, so I always wanted to enhance what I looked like in the bedroom with tight-fitted, short, slutty numbers – most of which were pretty expensive ($60′s for something that barely covers your body is freakin’ ridiculous – but I guess that’s most clothes girls wear these days).
The thing with lingerie is that you don’t even get the bang for your buck (figuratively speaking; literally speaking, hellz yeah I did!). I always wanted the cute new ones that weren’t on sale, because by the time they do go on sale, all the XS sizes are gone. Like I said, 60$ was the average I spent on each, but then I also had to get the stockings/stay ups to match, so really it was like $80 per outfit. But how many times can you reuse the same one? Maybe a few times? I had to make sure my inventory was stacked so I could change up once in a while without buying more (other than stockings.. usually had to restock those more often). Even still, I don’t really think I recovered my $80 each time.
And now that I am no longer with the person, all that wasted money just sits there, taunting me. It reminds me that I have no one to show off my sexy items. No one to look at me in them and say “wow”.
But even if I did, I don’t think I would feel right using them with someone else. Like “hey, I didn’t buy this to look hot for you, I banged another guy in it, but lets fuck anyways!” or “Your sexy nurse is here, but I did take care of another patient before you”. I know I will never say that out loud to anyone, but it is what will be running through my head. And that doesn’t sit well with me for some reason.
I even Googled what to do with it. Do I keep it or not? Most people (on ask yahoo!) said to keep it. Next guy will never know that it wasn’t for him – you don’t need to tell him. Like I said, it would be the thoughts that are running through my head that would kill it for me.
Or that the next guy wouldn’t mind. Really boys? Would you not mind that the last time the girl you are about to have sex with wore the little number shes in, she got nailed by someone else? I don’t have sex with randoms or at all very much, so if I am having sex with you, you must be pretty special. In that case, the guy would have to know that unless its a brand new item, it was used with someone else who was special. What a turn off!
One suggestion was to wear it to sleep so you can feel sexy yourself. Ummm… these things are uncomfortable as hell. It’s like telling a girl why not climb the CN Tower with heels. No.
So what am I to do with them? Perhaps just wear them on days I feel like crap to look at myself and think, “not bad”. Or type blog posts in them. Or take racy pics and post them online.. just kidding! (don’t Google “Jessi Fletch” images.. you will be severely disappointed). Still haven’t quite figured it out yet.
Sidenote: Sexy underwear is so much of a better investment – you can wear that daily and get full use of your money and confidence. Especially if you accidentally walk over a grate when wearing a flowy dress in a busy city street … #thankgoodnesstheywerehot.